I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
