Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
