Do you still have your period?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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