i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
