Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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(404): View more from Georgia

So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life

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(203): View more from Connecticut

why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER

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