Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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  (201): I'm chasing vodka with french fries. http://tfl.nu/5e4z
  Replies (24) Good night (3096) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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  (301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she http://tfl.nu/l9o1
  Replies (34) Good night (4532) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  People in love make me want to vomit

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  (609): People in love make me want to vomit http://tfl.nu/3x4v
  Replies (34) Good night (1676) Bad night (2672)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight

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  (203): I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight http://tfl.nu/ncr8
  Replies (79) Good night (7677) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4555) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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  (607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx
  Replies (27) Good night (909) Bad night (5078)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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  (954): so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine http://tfl.nu/9kja
  Replies (30) Good night (2974) Bad night (4974)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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  (405): She's like the pied piper of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/2bl6
  Replies (13) Good night (3599) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?

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  (219): He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back? http://tfl.nu/dswq
  Replies (12) Good night (767) Bad night (2529)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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  (703): You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick". http://tfl.nu/ootc
  Replies (6) Good night (2230) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.

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  (706): Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with. http://tfl.nu/r42s
  Replies (13) Good night (2626) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.

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  (405): We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch. http://tfl.nu/g5x2
  Replies (4) Good night (1542) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.

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  (757): I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date. http://tfl.nu/oqzd
  Replies (5) Good night (1389) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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  (919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k
  Replies (0) Good night (705) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room

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  (715): And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room http://tfl.nu/oply
  Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (335)

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