ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.