Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs

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  (313): Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs http://tfl.nu/nept
  Replies (12) Good night (2938) Bad night (1033)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  okay pat passed out under dana's car

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  (719): okay pat passed out under dana's car http://tfl.nu/6rx3
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (579)
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  (805): View more from California

  before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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  (805): before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was. http://tfl.nu/5vrd
  Replies (41) Good night (5080) Bad night (1044)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards

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  (407): He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards http://tfl.nu/ieco
  Replies (24) Good night (1225) Bad night (4138)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.

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  (612): I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius. http://tfl.nu/9tta
  Replies (39) Good night (4127) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...

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  (513): First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action... http://tfl.nu/keaf
  Replies (13) Good night (1147) Bad night (6627)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.

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  (281): The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/4mrf
  Replies (20) Good night (1536) Bad night (2814)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no

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  (678): Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no http://tfl.nu/k1du
  Replies (1) Good night (3403) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time

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  (315): I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time http://tfl.nu/omxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (2212)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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  (813): Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night.... http://tfl.nu/k2vf
  Replies (3) Good night (2443) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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  (504): So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back. http://tfl.nu/rbde
  Replies (9) Good night (1239) Bad night (4210)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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  (901): I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter? http://tfl.nu/wyo3
  Replies (6) Good night (1555) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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  (541): I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night? http://tfl.nu/w38g
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours

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  (720): To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours http://tfl.nu/tgx5
  Replies (1) Good night (824) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.

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  (860): Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie. http://tfl.nu/hffy
  Replies (7) Good night (250) Bad night (359)

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