Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.

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(979): so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together. http://tfl.nu/dxc5

Replies (15) Good night (4055) Bad night (1131)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.

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(773): I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs. http://tfl.nu/fbpk

Replies (17) Good night (869) Bad night (3521)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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(307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn

Replies (11) Good night (6452) Bad night (1020)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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(609): I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments. http://tfl.nu/kh7m

Replies (6) Good night (1615) Bad night (1287)
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(646): View more from New York

Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...

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(646): Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man... http://tfl.nu/jp6y

Replies (4) Good night (2260) Bad night (1013)
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(408): View more from California

I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.

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(408): I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation. http://tfl.nu/jzil

Replies (6) Good night (1469) Bad night (864)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.

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(864): We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger. http://tfl.nu/jvyn

Replies (3) Good night (1901) Bad night (600)
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(914): View more from New York

Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.

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(914): Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night. http://tfl.nu/nj6b

Replies (3) Good night (2280) Bad night (631)
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(559): View more from California

Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.

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(559):Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination. http://tfl.nu/eipz

Replies (5) Good night (1795) Bad night (761)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

(1-928): View more from Arizona

They dropped the charges?

(928): View more from Arizona

Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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(928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29

Replies (8) Good night (3026) Bad night (778)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.

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(610): its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate. http://tfl.nu/xmo4

Replies (5) Good night (1732) Bad night (678)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.

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(616): Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/i5nq

Replies (9) Good night (1506) Bad night (795)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward

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(905): I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward http://tfl.nu/lq2w

Replies (18) Good night (1494) Bad night (669)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina

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(781): I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina http://tfl.nu/4ebx

Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (389)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one

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(918): She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one http://tfl.nu/uqwv

Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (292)

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