now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.