Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!

  (917): View more from New York City

  question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?

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  (856): i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done! (917): question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut? http://tfl.nu/3a66
  Replies (24) Good night (2410) Bad night (528)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.

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  (847): There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike. http://tfl.nu/ywf1
  Replies (17) Good night (2464) Bad night (555)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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  (484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj
  Replies (50) Good night (48406) Bad night (1451)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

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  (917): I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do http://tfl.nu/8eef
  Replies (10) Good night (3297) Bad night (899)
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  (510): View more from California

  well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen

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  (510): well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen http://tfl.nu/tcr3
  Replies (20) Good night (692) Bad night (5291)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it

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  (815): I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it http://tfl.nu/no3b
  Replies (14) Good night (1773) Bad night (4680)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.

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  (315): I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/w329
  Replies (4) Good night (2003) Bad night (1032)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out

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  (678): Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out http://tfl.nu/g5nx
  Replies (9) Good night (4291) Bad night (947)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

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  (202): when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him http://tfl.nu/8eei
  Replies (7) Good night (2309) Bad night (858)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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  (317): Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day. http://tfl.nu/olid
  Replies (23) Good night (4768) Bad night (842)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?

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  (919): I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent? http://tfl.nu/tgod
  Replies (3) Good night (852) Bad night (347)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.

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  (541): 25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that. http://tfl.nu/kj3r
  Replies (12) Good night (596) Bad night (837)
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  (323): View more from California

  Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not

  (818): View more from California

  Stop it right now

  (323): View more from California

  This time face forward

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  (323): Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not (818): Stop it right now (323): This time face forward http://tfl.nu/ev7s
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (329)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.

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  (724): We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point. http://tfl.nu/0a5d
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (270)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.

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  (919): Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes. http://tfl.nu/z2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (238)

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