this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.