oh god the rape fog is back!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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