I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
