Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
