he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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