it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
