If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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