So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
