Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
