my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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