at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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