Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
