Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
