i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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