we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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