Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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