I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
