So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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