Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
