That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
