Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize