Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
