Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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