she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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