may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
3pm strippers are depressing
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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