i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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