all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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