I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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