I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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