can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
