At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
