so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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