I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if only i could text you this smell
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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