If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
