Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You made out with two different species that night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
