Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
