I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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