I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
