my mouth tastes like poor choices
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
