White coat. Heels.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Bring me that man meat
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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