this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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