from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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