Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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