The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
