Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize