i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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