sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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