Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
