dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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