I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
