You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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