My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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