You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
