you would pick up someone in the library
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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