Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it glows. i had to have it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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