You're my little dorito
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
try to milk me bitch
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