Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize