I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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