I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
