Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
