I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
