this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
