Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
