idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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