Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
